This month has gone by very slowly. My body has undergone a lot of stress, pain, and sickness. I have found myself on many occasions crying and cursing, wishing that we had chosen adoption. Yet, when I calm down and I think of the chances of losing Baby Hesch, I cry. I beg to the little mass in my belly to hold on and grow strong. Then I pray to Heavenly Father to help Josh and I mentally and physically, because it is going to be a long time til April 2, 2010, my due date.
At six weeks, we went to the hospital for an ultra sound to make sure I was not having an ectopic pregnancy. I had been experiencing cramping and a dull pain on my right side that was progressively getting worse. At the ultra sound, we found that Baby Hesch was right where it needed to be and the pain was caused from a bleeding ovarian cyst. Rest and time was the only thing to heal it.
Back to Baby Hesch at the ultrasound. It was a small speck inside a black bean on the monitor. The gal performing the the ultrasound said "Here is your baby." Then she zoomed in and she said "There, do you see how it blinks, that is the heart." Josh could see it, but I could not. I wanted to cry. I couldn't just agree and let her move on. She told me to hold my breath and there it was. My eyes focused on the monitor as I was able to hold still. I could see my baby's heart beating!!
As days went on nausea set it. My trick to controlling it was constantly eating and dry heaving (gross, I know). That is one of the hardest things to do, force yourself to eat even when your stomach doesn't want it.
Back to Baby Hesch at the ultrasound. It was a small speck inside a black bean on the monitor. The gal performing the the ultrasound said "Here is your baby." Then she zoomed in and she said "There, do you see how it blinks, that is the heart." Josh could see it, but I could not. I wanted to cry. I couldn't just agree and let her move on. She told me to hold my breath and there it was. My eyes focused on the monitor as I was able to hold still. I could see my baby's heart beating!!
As days went on nausea set it. My trick to controlling it was constantly eating and dry heaving (gross, I know). That is one of the hardest things to do, force yourself to eat even when your stomach doesn't want it.
The first while, I couldn't get myself to get up to make myself food. Josh and I ate out every meal. I am usually a stickler and try to keep eating out to a minimum, but I was weak and that was the easiest solution.
Yesterday, I woke up NOT feeling sick and sore. That brought on a whole new set of worries about the baby. Luckily, today was my first appointment with the doctor. We couldn't hear the heart beat on the Doppler but the ultrasound showed a half inch, pulsating form. Josh and I were so happy to see Baby Hesch was still okay. We will go back on Sept. 11 to hear the heart beat.
Yesterday, I woke up NOT feeling sick and sore. That brought on a whole new set of worries about the baby. Luckily, today was my first appointment with the doctor. We couldn't hear the heart beat on the Doppler but the ultrasound showed a half inch, pulsating form. Josh and I were so happy to see Baby Hesch was still okay. We will go back on Sept. 11 to hear the heart beat.
3 comments:
Thats so exciting. Hope everything keeps going well.
Ooh Ashley, I feel your pain so much... which I know does nothing to make you feel better but I am so sorry. All I can do is promise a million times over it'll be worth it and even more than that, you'll *almost* forget how miserable this time is... *almost*.
Can't wait to hear about Fridays appt!
I still can't believe you were so sick. It sucks. Hopefully it will subside now that you are further along. Who knows. Like Misty said, it will be worth it!
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